Moments & Fragments
by Zan65
Summary: A series of one-shots. Some are episode-related and some are not.Most feature Tony and Gibbs.
1. Chapter 1

Moments & Fragments

Moments & Fragments

Part 1

_This is my take on what should have/could have happened at the end of SWAK._

Gibbs returned to the hospital as he had planned to. There was no way he could have gone home and switched off while one of his people was struggling to remain alive. Yes, he _had_ given him a directive to live, but, this time, Gibbs needed to make sure. It wasn't everyday one of his team was infected with plague. He needed to actively have his agent's six.

He encountered both the nurse and Dr. Pitt at the nurse's station outside the isolation unit.

'Agent Gibbs,' said the doctor in greeting, extending his hand. This was, after all, the rather intimidating, older man whose words had seemed to cause the younger man to rally. Dr. Pitt was keen to keep such a person close at hand in case the situation deteriorated again.

'Why aren't you with him?' demanded Gibbs, instead of shaking the doctor's hand. Dr. Pitt gestured towards the isolation room before them.

'He's actually finally sleeping,' he told him. 'We can monitor his vitals from here without disturbing him.' Gibbs peered through the glass at Tony's sleeping form and then at the various, beeping monitors on the desk. Satisfied, he relaxed slightly and asked for a report on Tony's condition.

'Without the mumbo jumbo,' he added. 'You can save that for Doctor Mallard.'

'Well, his respiratory system has been severely compromised', Doctor Pitt told him. 'There is likely to be permanent scarring of his lungs. He is extremely weak, which is dangerous because he needs to clear his lungs of the… gunk that has built up in them. We've put in a drip and a catheter so that he doesn't have to waste energy eating or peeing.'

'Is he sedated?' asked Gibbs, gazing at Tony through the glass.

'Too risky,' replied Dr Pitt. 'He needs to actively clear his lungs, as unpleasant and exhausting as that must be. He fell asleep about a half hour ago from sheer fatigue. It's important that you realize that he's not out of the woods yet, Agent Gibbs.'

Gibbs said nothing but continued to stare through the glass. He would _not _lose Dinozzo like this. Hell, he didn't want to lose him _ever, _but for him to be a totally innocent victim of one woman's insane quest for revenge was unthinkable and unacceptable.

………………………………………….

Tony felt as though an unyielding vice was crushing his windpipe. An invisible pair of hands was in his chest, strangling his lungs. His heart pounded in his ears. He was reminded of a time in his childhood when an older, unkind boy had, for a joke, pushed him beneath the surface of the pool and held him there. Tony had thrashed his arms and legs wildly. The boy had eventually released him, but not before black spots had begun to appear before Tony's eyes. He had fought his way to the surface and taken down an enormous gulp of air. Next he had swum to the pool edge, trembling violently and coughing up great mouthfuls of water. He was shivering, despite the heat of the day. He wondered if the mean boy was going to come after him again.

…………………………………………….

Gibbs followed hot on the heels of Pitt and the nurse to Tony's bedside. They had sprung into action the moment the heart monitor began to go berserk. Gibbs was appalled by the bluey-black tinge to Tony's lips, but more shocked by the way the man was obviously struggling for breath in a room that had a plentiful supply of air. Pitt and the nurse went to opposite sides of the bed and hauled Tony into a sitting position. Tony's head slumped forward as Pitt began to pound on his back. Just as the heart monitor spiked, Tony began to cough. It was more like the cough of a chronic smoker than the athletic young man that Tony was, but it was music to Gibbs' ears. Gibbs saw the relief on Pitt's face as he continued to forcefully pat Tony's back, encouraging him to cough more. Again Gibbs struggled with suppressing the anger he felt toward the woman who had made this happen, but he told himself that it would not help Tony if Gibbs channeled all of his energy into hating her for what she had done.

The nurse brought a cloth in her gloved hand up to Tony's mouth and gently wiped away the evidence of the coughing fit, but not before Gibbs had noted the disturbing mix of dark red and green. During the coughing fit, Tony's body had been rigid. Now, the coughing subsided, his head slumped forward again, his body still help upright by the doctor and the nurse. He was completely spent.

'That's really good work Tony' the doctor told him. 'We'll just keep you sitting up a little while longer. You're doing really well.'

Pitt looked at Gibbs who had remained at the foot of the bed, his gaze fixed firmly on his agent for whom he obviously had some kind of great attachment. Perhaps they were somehow related, Pitt thought to himself.

'How do you feel about swapping with me?' Pitt asked Gibbs. 'I'd like to check his vitals, and Tony can't sit up independently at the moment.' Gibbs quickly took off his street jacket and pushed up his sleeves. Sitting sideways on the edge of the bed in front of Tony, who had remained eerily silent apart from the coughing fit, Gibbs slipped his right arm under Tony's left, replacing Pitt's. The nurse gratefully eased her support away as Gibbs snaked his left arm under Tony's right. Tony fell forward against him and his head came to rest on Gibbs' shoulder, his arms hanging loosely. Gibbs held Tony to him, being careful not to squeeze too tightly. The poor kid was having a hard enough time breathing as it was!

'I've got him,' said Gibbs, quietly. 'Do what you have to do.'

Tony felt some relief as sweet air partially filled his clogged chest. The black spots began to clear and the pounding in his head abated. He felt two strong arms supporting him without making him feel trapped. The arms were strong. and grounding. He felt a wave of calm wash over him. The panic and danger were over for the moment, but the person was still there. He managed to murmur something and then drifted into blissful unconsciousness once more.

Gibbs watched as Pitt and the nurse checked Tony's pulse, blood pressure, and the various lines he was hooked up to, and then they left the room with whispered instructions to lay Tony back down after about five minutes or so. Alone with Tony with the blue lights dimmed, Gibbs was taken back some years to nights spent sitting up with Kelly when she had been sick. Gibbs had always marveled that when medicines hadn't worked, it seemed that the only thing that had the power to soothe her was for him to hold her like he was holding Tony now.

Protocol dictated that Tony's father had to be notified about Tony's current medical emergency, and Gibbs had asked the director to make the call. But Gibbs knew he wouldn't show up. If he was 'lucky', Tony might receive flowers sent on behalf of the family. Part of the situation suited Gibbs because Tony didn't need the angst that would be created with the arrival of his father, but it ate at Gibbs that Tony always seemed to have to endure injury or illness without much help. Well, Dinozzo wasn't going to be able to recuperate from the plague on his own, and Gibbs was adamant that he wasn't going to try.

Tony's shivers broke Gibbs from his reverie.

'Back to bed for you,' Gibbs told him quietly, and gently eased the younger man back towards the pillow. Tony put up no resistance, Gibbs noted. Pitt was right; he was as weak as a kitten. As he pulled the blankets up to Tony's chest, Gibbs saw the younger man's eyes open a crack and his blue lips move slightly. Putting his ear closer to Tony's mouth, Gibbs listened for a while then frowned. When he looked back at Tony's face, he was fully asleep again. Gibbs whispered something in Tony's ear before settling himself in the chair that was beside the bed.

'Did he say something?' asked the nurse as she returned with Tony's chart.

Gibbs looked at her quizzically.

'I saw through the glass. Was he lucid? The doctor will want to know.'

'I'm not sure that Tony is particularly lucid when he_ doesn't_ have the plague,' said Gibbs. 'He said _don't let him get me again', _Gibbs told her.

'Probably delirious,' said the Nurse, casting a sympathetic glance towards Tony.

'Well I told him I had his six anyway,' said Gibbs. 'Tell me, is there anywhere I can get a decent cup of coffee around her?'


	2. Chapter 2

They've brought Dinozzo in,' Gibbs informed Ducky, referring to the FBI

They've brought Dinozzo in,' Gibbs informed Ducky, referring to the FBI. 'He's been given Elyptol 3. Fornell says he's in Emergency at Bethesda. I don't want him there any longer than necessary.'

Ducky grimaced and shook his head.

'Elyptol 3 can be very nasty stuff,' he told Gibbs.

'It's truth serum,' stated Gibbs with raised eyebrows. 'It's not plague. He'll live.'

'No, it's not plague,' agreed Ducky, looking over his glasses, 'but Anthony has a murky past. Elyptol 3 may well have him facing some buried truths. You'll need to watch him carefully, Jethro.'

'Can't _you_ watch him?' asked Gibbs, an uncharacteristic, pleading edge to his voice. Tony always seemed to bring out the paternal feelings in Gibbs, but he was unaccustomed to providing TLC, even though he desperately wanted Tony to receive it from somewhere. Ducky sighed.

'Jethro, I'll be along as soon as I can. I'm anxious to see how he is, but there's no rocket science involved in being there for someone. Just try not to bark orders at him. Try to be grateful that he was only missing for a few hours and that he's still alive.'

Gibbs chose not to be offended. It was true that he rarely cut Dinozzo any slack, but 'barking orders', as Ducky put it, was what made his team function properly. Without ceremony, he left autopsy and headed off to Bethesda.

………………………….

Tony sat up on the examination table bed, swinging his long legs off the side. The doctor had given him the once-over already. He had fought to keep his mask in place and hysteria in check during the whole process. Tony had good reasons to hate hospitals. There were memories that he had repressed for years, but the damn truth serum he had been pumped with had brought them into his conscious mind. He shut his eyes and tried to breathe deeply.

Outside the room, Gibbs peered at him.

'How is he?' he demanded of the doctor.

'Not too bad,' replied Dr. Pitt. As soon as he knew Tony Dinozzo had been brought in, Dr. Pitt had insisted on examining him. 'He's much better than the last time I saw him.'

Gibbs grunted in acknowledgement. When Tony had been here last, the plague had nearly killed him.

'The bruises on his wrists aren't too serious. He might need some help doing manual tasks for a while. He's also sustained a knock to the forehead, but it looks worse than it is. The Elyptol 3 will take about a day to leave his system completely. He can go home but he'll need someone to keep an eye on him.'

Gibbs continued to watch Tony as Dr. Pitt spoke. The man had kept his eyes closed the whole time Gibbs was watching him, and Gibbs could see how white his knuckles were as Tony gripped the edge of the bed.

'He'll be looked after,' he told Dr. Pitt gruffly.

Gibbs entered the room and cleared his throat, hoping not to startle Tony. The younger agent opened his eyes and appeared surprised to see Gibbs there.

'Choose the short straw?' he asked laconically. Gibbs shook his head slightly.

'Voluntary assignment,' he told him. 'Glad to see you got away. I'm just pissed that Fornell's mob found you before we did.'

Tony shrugged. It wasn't the first time he'd managed to piss Gibbs off, and it wouldn't be the last. He got ready for Gibbs to chew him out for (a) getting himself caught in the first place and (b) putting Gibbs in debt to Fornell.

'Show me your wrists.' Gibbs' demand surprised Tony again. Tony reluctantly held out his arms for Gibbs to see. They shook slightly. Gibbs took Tony's hands in his and scrutinized the bruises.

'Bastards,' he cursed as he rested them back onto Tony's knees.

'How's your head?'

'Hurts,' replied Tony, uncharacteristically. _Truth serum _noted Gibbs. He had never known Tony to ever admit being in pain. Gibbs gently smoothed back Tony's hair to examine the angry bump near his hairline. Tony flinched sharply, so Gibbs withdrew his hand.

'That bad huh?' said Gibbs, concerned.

'Nah,' said Tony. 'I'm just…I don't… Just don't worry about me, okay?' He blushed then, and looked away before he completely lost his head and told Gibbs what he was really thinking.

'Let's get you home,' said Gibbs. 'We'll go past my place and get a few things and then I'm staying with you for the night.'

'Boss, I'm okay. You don't have to,' objected Tony, easing himself off the bed and nearly losing his balance.

'Well, I am and that's final,' retorted Gibbs sternly. 'You can't even stand up!'

'Don't yell,' said Tony, unexpectedly. 'You're reminding me of my father.' Tony looked so forlorn as he made this admission that Gibbs could think of nothing to say. Instead, he nodded and took Tony by the elbow.

'Sorry boss,' muttered Tony, blushing furiously. 'Maybe I'll just shut up for the next few days.'

Tony did manage to shut up all the way home. It was probably the result of a combination of willpower and fatigue, but Gibbs was still pretty unnerved by the normally 'talk under water' Dinozzo being so silent. It was only after the pair had finished a simple meal that Tony found his voice again. He was sitting back, his stomach pleasantly full. Gibbs' suggestion of soup with a straw had been sheer genius. It had saved him having to use his hands and allowed him to eat independently.

'I'm glad it was you that came to get me,' Tony suddenly said, shyly. And he didn't care that the truth serum made him say it. Gibbs had let him be instead of bombarding him with questions or insisting that he lay down. Gibbs always seemed to know what he needed and he appreciated it. Gibbs raised his eyebrow in response.

'It was a no-brainer,' he said. 'Ziva would have given you the third degree, McGee swoons at the sight of blood, and Abby would have fussed over you to death.'

Tony smiled slightly at the thought of McGee fainting and then immediately winced as the movement made his head throb.

'I'm gonna go to bed, Boss,' he said, apologetically. 'I don't feel so good.' He got up slowly and turned to walk towards his bedroom before Gibbs' voice stopped him in his tracks.

'Tony.'

'Yeah Boss,' he said without turning around.

'You can't stop people worrying about you. Including me.'

Tony stood silently for a few moments, recalling all those times he'd spent in hospital without a visitor; desperately _wanting_ his father to visit him and, at the same time, praying he _wouldn't_ visit him. He'd got so confused as a kid that he'd ended up not knowing what the hell he wanted. But he wasn't so confused now.

'Okay Boss,' he said, his voice hoarse. 'Thanks.'

Long after Tony had fallen asleep in his bed, Gibbs sat at the table staring at the empty bowls, reflecting and contemplating.


	3. Chapter 3

Moments & Fragments

Moments & Fragments

_Thank you for the kind feedback, everyone. I'll consider the suggestions to make a longer story out of one or more of these 'moments'._

Gibbs and Ziva were interviewing the owner of 'Fortune's Fool', a business located beside a crime scene. Clairvoyant Madame Vay finished answering Gibbs' question and turned her full attention to Ziva. The Mossad agent raised her chin defiantly.

'You, my dear, have made a new life for yourself here. Try not to be so on duty and on guard. Not everyone here is your enemy.' Ziva stared back at her for a few moments before giving a barely perceptible nod. Gibbs wondered if, culturally, Ziva believed in this mumbo jumbo more than he did.

At that moment, Tony came bustling in from outside.

'Perimeter's secure Boss,' he said in his customary breathy voice.

'Ziva, join McGee and see what else you can find next door,' ordered Gibbs. With another nod in Madame Vay's direction, Ziva left, leaving Gibbs and Tony with the woman. Tony took in the candles and mobiles and the elderly woman's cloak-like dress and smiled, amused.

'Nice place you have here ma'am,' he said cheerfully. Watching Gibbs interview this woman might be interesting.

Madam Vay looked at Tony and noticed the way he stood by the older man's side; slightly back and at the ready. Gibbs continued to make notes in his book, ignoring the exchange.

'Is there anything else you can tell us about this morning?' Gibbs asked, turning his attention back to her.

'No,' she replied quietly, 'but I would like to address this young man.'

'Go ahead,' said Gibbs, slightly amused. 'Tony, this is Madam Vay.'

Tony took off his cap and stepped forward slightly, casting a puzzled sideways look at Gibbs. Vay reached up and placed her hand gently against Tony's cheek.

'You have endured much sadness,' she began, 'and you like everyone to think that you are fine. But you are not alone. Let people care about you.'

Tony held her gaze for awhile before dropping his to the floor. Sensing his discomfort, the woman removed her hand from his face.

'Meet me back at the office,' Gibbs told him, giving him an out.

'Nice to meet you,' said Tony before donning his cap and leaving, quickly.

'Thank you for your help,' Gibbs told Vay, extending his hand to her. She grasped his hand firmly and met his steely gaze.

'He is still not recovered fully from the sickness to his lungs,' she said, her voice hushed and urgent. 'And he will not look after himself properly because he does not want to seem weak. He wants desperately to make YOU proud. You mean much more to him than you realize.'

Gibbs' eyes burned into hers but she did not let go of his hand until he nodded.

Back at NCIS, Tony was cheerfully tapping away at his PC when Gibbs strode in barking 'Dinozzo! My office!' Looking startled at McGee and Ziva, Tony leapt up and followed Gibbs to the elevator. What had he done wrong now?

When the doors had shut behind them and the elevator had moved between floors, Gibbs punched the stop button.

The two men stood in tense silence for a few moments before Gibbs spoke. He had had time coming from the crime scene to try and frame the right words.

'Dinozzo, tell me. And I want the truth. Are you still sick?'

Tony thought about lying but the look on Gibbs' face was… well, like no expression he had seen before on his face.

'W.when it's cold, I still get a bit out of breath. When a female suspect is wearing strong perfume, I need to get some air. Why?'

Gibbs made Tony jump as he back-punched the elevator wall.

'Why! Because I need to know, Tony! I need to know when it's fair to push you and when I need to cut you some slack! Because I don't want you getting yourself killed chasing down some scumbag on a freezing cold day! Because people care about you, dammit!'

Tony wrapped his arms around himself and hung his head slightly.

'Sorry boss,' he mumbled. Once again he'd screwed up, trying to hide something from Gibbs. Gibbs was too smart. He expected Gibbs to punch the 'on' button and start lecturing him about putting other members of the team in danger. He did _**so**_ not expect Gibbs – Leroy Jethro Gibbs – to put his arm across his shoulders and pull him into a half hug/half headlock.

'Tony, don't put your health below trying to make me happy,' Gibbs said into his ear, his voice low and serious. 'You still being sick does _not_ make me happy. When you're not feeling 100, tell me and we'll work around it. You got that?'

Tony dared not move but managed to get out a 'Got it Boss', before Gibbs abruptly released him and gave him a swift slap to the back of the head.

'Ow!' complained Tony, rubbing his head as Gibbs re-activated the elevator.

'That's for pretending you're fine and making me resort to mumbo jumbo to get my information,' Gibbs told him, suppressing a smile. 'That_ definitely_ does not make me happy.'


	4. Chapter 4

Moments & Fragments 4

Moments & Fragments 4

_Just a brief addition to an episode that needed a bit more Gibbs/Tony in my humble opinion._

Gibbs glanced across at Dinozzo. Paula Cassidy was most certainly already dead – he could do nothing further for her – but Tony was alive and falling apart. Gibbs could tell by the anguish written on Dinozzo's usually cheerful face and the way his body was collapsed against the wall as though he was trying to hug the stricken woman on the other side, that the younger man needed some help. Now.

There was no Abby to hurl herself at Tony – perhaps a good thing under these circumstances – and no Ducky to guide Tony gently but firmly to a safe seat and provide comforting words. There was just Gibbs. He had failed Dinozzo before and he just couldn't do it again – no matter how at sea he felt in these kinds of situations.

As the troops rushed in, Gibbs placed a protective arm across Tony's shoulders and guided him away from the wall. Like a shaken child, Tony allowed himself to be led outside and to the back of the NCIS van. Gibbs could feel the trembling of Tony's body and his skin felt cold to touch, despite the heat of the day. Perhaps he would need Ducky after all.

The taller man sat and Gibbs immediately encouraged him to bend forward with his elbows on his knees. The last thing Dinozzo needed to do was to faint with shock at a crime scene crawling with press and law enforcement personnel. Gibbs squatted down in front of Tony and gripped his shoulder.

'Just breathe,' Gibbs told him. It was an order but his tone was gentler. It was advice Gibbs had given himself at times over the years. 'Don't think. Just breathe.'


	5. Chapter 5

Moments & Fragments 5

Moments & Fragments 5

_No-one recovers that quickly!_

'Where's Dinozzo?' barked Gibbs to no-one in particular. He had glanced over to his senior field agent's desk several times in the last 40 minutes but hadn't seen a sign of him. His patience was wearing thinner than usual.

'Ah, men's room I think, Boss,' stammered McGee. Truth be told, McGee was a bit concerned. Tony had been stifling a cough all afternoon and had looked decidedly pale when he had got up to leave. McGee could understand that Tony would rather keep himself busy at work than stay home and mourn Kate, but he couldn't understand why he hadn't given himself more time to physically recover. Then again, there was a lot he didn't understand about Tony.

Gibbs mumbled something unintelligible before striding towards the men's room. They needed to leave before their crime scene got cold.

Not one for ceremonies, Gibbs barged into the men's room, banging the door against the wall and yelling for Dinozzo.

Fortunately he saw Tony before he started yelling expletives and threats. Tony was on his hands and knees in the furthermost corner, gasping for breath. Immediately, Gibbs was crouched beside him, his cell out and on.

'McGee! Get Ziva and go to the crime scene. Details are on my desk. Tell Ducky to come to the head. Now!'

Pocketing the cell, Gibbs placed a firm hand in the middle of Tony's back.

'Easy,' he said. Tony responded with a hacking cough. Out of his mouth flew a hunk of green phlegm. Tony brought one wrist up towards his face in an attempt to wipe his mouth, but would have collapsed had Gibbs not had the presence of mind to keep him from doing so.

'Easy, Tony,' he told him. He gently eased Tony into a sitting position against the wall, away from the slimy floor. After reaching into his pocket, Gibbs used a handkerchief to wipe the corner of Tony's mouth. Tony was now breathing a little easier. He turned his face sway from Gibbs, embarrassed.

Gibbs felt a tug at his heart. Most people would peg Tony as an attention-seeker, but he was definitely not comfortable with getting the attention he needed.

Next, Ducky bustled in.

'Oh my!' he commented as he took in Tony's condition.

'I'm okay Ducky,' said Tony, weakly. 'Just couldn't stop coughing, tha's all.'

'That's all?!' bellowed Gibbs. 'For God's sake, Tony! You couldn't breathe! Why didn't you call for help?'

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. His head was pounding and Gibbs' raised voice was not helping.

'It probably got suddenly worse, didn't it Anthony,' soothed Ducky. He had noticed Tony turning paler and gave Gibbs a frown. 'Let's get him up off this cold floor.'

Gibbs snaked his arm under Tony's and across his back. Ducky did the same on the other side.

'Slowly now', warned Ducky. 'No need to rush.'

As the trio rose, Tony felt the world pitch and roll. He unwillingly grabbed onto his boss and bulldozed his face against the older man's chest.

'You with us, Dinozzo?' asked Gibbs, not unkindly. In truth, Tony was scaring him.

'He's exhausted,' said Ducky in a hushed voice. 'Coughing fits when your lungs are compromised take a lot out of you. It probably started with a tickle and then he couldn't stop. Too hard to call for help when you can't catch your breath.'

Suitable chastised, Gibbs tightened his hold on Dinozzo and led him towards the door. The younger man was valiantly trying to straighten up.

'We've got you, Anthony,' Ducky reassured him. 'We'll get you into the small office along the corridor. Much more pleasant than the mens' room floor.'

The three men made their way into the small, disused office where Tony was eased down onto the leather couch. Ducky positioned a cushion under Tony's head while Gibbs swung the younger man's long legs onto the couch. Tony rested an arm across his eyes and sighed.

'Get him what he needs,' Gibbs told Ducky, eyeing Tony critically.

'Jethro, what he needs is a warm bed and complete rest. This isn't something a pill can just magically solve.'

In response, Gibbs stood silent for a few moments, contemplating. Eventually, his mind made up, he took off his coat and covered Tony with it, drawing it up to his chin.

'Stay with him, Duck,' he told the ME. 'I'll be back.'


	6. Chapter 6

Moments & Fragments 6

Moments & Fragments 8

_Tony is at home recuperating from an illness. Probably post SWAK. The details aren't important._

Gibbs couldn't resist the urge to listen in to the conversation between Tony and his father. Perhaps Dinozzo senior wasn't the heartless bastard Gibb had always assumed he was. He had been the one to call after all, even though he had failed to visit his son in hospital. He lifted the phone extension to his ear.

'It's not necessary,' Tony was trying to insist, his voice still weak with fatigue.

'Why do you have to be so stubborn?' was the stern reply. 'You've never ever appreciated the services made available to you. Anderson will do anything you need done.'

'You don't get it,' said Tony tiredly. 'I don't even _know _Anderson. 'I don't want some stranger here while I'm..like this.'

'Well you've got that Gibbs there,' argued his father. 'What are you paying _him_ to fluff your pillows?'

Gibbs felt his blood pressure rise and had to stop himself from barking into the phone. How this man could be a blood relative of Tony's was beyond him.

'I don't pay him anything,' said Tony in a barely audible voice ' and I don't know why he stays, if that's your next question. Maybe he cares, and I feel better that he's here.'

'I bet he can't prepare cuisine like Anderson can,' his father persisted.

'I don't give a shit,' sighed Tony. "If you send him I 'm not letting him in.'

'Fine. Be stubborn, just like your mother,' said his father. 'Get well. I've had a parcel put in the mail for you.'

And that was it. Gibbs was disgusted. He'd never had a son of his own but he knew that 'I've had a parcel put in the mail' was not the most appropriate gesture towards a young man recovering from a life-threatening illness. He quietly replaced the receiver and finished making the coffee before casually joining Tony in the loungeroom.

Tony was seated on the couch, gazing at nothing. Gibbs sat beside him quietly.

'Full of charm, isn't he?' Tony said flatly.

Gibbs raised his eyebrows in surprise, although he shouldn't really have been shocked. Tony was a top notch investigator.

'Heard the click?' he asked. Tony nodded. Gibbs sipped his coffee before placing it on the table He wanted to put his arm around Tony's shoulders but the younger man still looked so fragile. Instead, he tentatively took Tony's hand in his, which immediately felt like a more affectionate gesture. Tony felt Gibbs squeeze his hand and immediately felt tears well in his eyes. This was the kind of compassion he'd never received from his father. Too tired and too sick to care if it was the done thing or not, he sank down and leant sideways to rest his head on Gibbs' shoulder. The man smelt of coffee, and wood and safety. He sighed.

'I bet Anderson wouldn't have held my hand,' Tony said softly, trying to distract himself from the distressing nature of the contact with his father.

'Damn straight,' Gibbs agreed.


	7. Chapter 7

Moments & Fragments 6

Moments & Fragments 7

_After Bury Your Dead. I've changed things slightly._

Jenny left her office and shut the door. Cynthia raised her eyebrows in surprise.

'Direct my calls to my cell,' the director told her. 'No-one is to disturb Agents Gibbs and Dinozzo.'

'Yes ma'am'.

Inside the office, away from prying eyes, Gibbs waited patiently as Tony continued to sit rigidly in his chair, staring at nothing. Tony had remained this way during most of Jenny's triumphant spiel about the probable death of the Frog. Tony had looked up once when Jenny had spoke of her satisfaction with Tony's part in the mission, but his expression had been as close to a scowl as Gibbs had seen him make. Tony had barely spoken a word. Jenny had pressed him to provide her with more details until Gibbs had motioned with his eyes for her to stop and leave them alone for a while.

Part of Gibbs was content to simply sit and drink in the sight of the agent that he thought he had lost. But Tony needed to talk, even if he didn't want to.

The silence was like a blanket in the director's office. Tony swallowed the growing lump in his throat. He was wrung out. It wasn't every day you narrowly escaped death and then admitted to possibly the love of your life that you are not who she thinks you are. He imagined it must surely bear some resemblance to a movie plot, but nothing came to mind. He thought about saying something funny, except there was really nothing funny about any of this. He'd gone behind Gibbs' back, he'd lied to Jeanne, and he'd narrowly escaped death.

'I messed up Boss,' he said in a small, un-Dinozzo-like voice.'

He dropped his chin to his chest and shut his eyes. Unable to hold them back any longer, Tony felt silent, hot tears seeping from beneath his eyelids down his cheeks.

Gibbs rose and dragged his chair closer to Tony's. He sat down directly opposite the younger man.

'Tony,' he said in his no-nonsense tone. Tony lifted his head and made eye-contact with his Boss. His eyes were still streaming and his lips trembled slightly. The last time he had cried was after Kate, he reflected. But that time he had been at home alone.

Gibbs fixed his blue eyes on Tony's green ones.

'You did not mess up,' he told him firmly. 'You should never have been put in that position in the first place.'

Tony gave a half laugh/half sob and looked up at the ceiling. It wasn't like he'd had much of a choice.

'I wanted to talk to you,' he told Gibbs, 'but then you left for Mexico and then I was in too deep.. and the director ordered me to keep it a secret.'

Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed gently. Tony noted the anger simmering in Gibbs' blue eyes.

'You should NEVER have been put in that position,' he repeated. 'As for talking to me, I'm listening now.'

'It's too late', whispered Tony, shaking his head. Despite his best efforts to maintain some composure, he was exhausted and emotionally sapped. Being two people simultaneously had been draining to say the least – particularly when you had to live a lie 24/7. He hadn't slept much in more than a week.

'It's never too late,' persisted Gibbs, worried by what Tony meant by that. The anger he had felt at Tony for keeping him out of the loop was nothing to the hatred he felt towards Jenny for using his number one field agent in such a reckless manner. After they'd determined that the burnt body in the car was not in fact Tony, her priority still had not been to find him. Gibbs doubted he would ever be able to forgive her, but he was determined to help Tony forgive himself.


	8. Chapter 8

Moments & Fragments 4/9

Moments & Fragments 4/9

_Hi! Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. Much appreciated. I'll be away and unable to post for the next two weeks, but I'll be writing! I'm working on a continuation of 'Chained'. Take care everyone. Zan_

'I'm sorry sir. Only family members are allowed in ICU.'

Gibbs felt Tony's hand grip move slightly in response to the nurse's statement. He had not even been aware that the younger man was conscious. It seemed he was aware of at least some things going on around him.

'I'm his father,' Gibbs said quietly, turning to look at her. The nurse looked from the shorter gray-haired man to the tall, lanky, dark-haired man on the bed. She saw no physical resemblance but the closeness between the two was obvious. The older man's face was strained with worry.

'Sorry sir,' she apologized. 'I'll see that you're disturbed as little as possible.'

Gibbs nodded his thanks before turning his full attention back to Tony whose eyes had remained closed. Perhaps he'd drifted away again.

'Yrr not mm f'ther,' Tony slurred, his voice very fuzzy and peculiar.

'You got that right,' replied Gibbs as he placed his hand gently on Tony's forehead. 'You'd be getting yourself into a lot less trouble if I was.'

Tony's eyes opened a crack and he was able to take in Gibbs' familiar yet worried face. Seeing Tony's green eyes for the first time in two days, Gibbs managed a small smile.

'Welcome back,' he told him. 'You gave the doctors a scare.'

Truth be told, it was actually Gibbs himself who had put the fear of God into the medical staff. His glares alone had inspired them to perform medical miracles.

Tony licked his lips slowly and tried to swallow, both actions causing discomfort.

'W.what happened.. at ..Quan…Quantico?' he asked croakliy.

'Just take it easy,' Gibbs soothed. 'You've got the best doctors looking after you, and Ducky's looking over their shoulders. You're hurt pretty bad. Just take things slowly.'

There was no need for Tony to know that several agents were dead and that Tony would be required to testify against Sharlon. Hell, if Gibbs had had his way. Sharlon would have got NO trial.

Tony winced as he tried to move his limbs.

'Bad idea,' he whispered. 'Get the number of the truck that ran me down?' Gibbs patted his shoulder.

'One broken wrist, GSW to your right leg, fractured ribs, a punctured lung and concussion,' he told him. There was no need to sugar-coat it. It was an ugly list however you said it. Tony said nothing but Gibbs knew what he was thinking. Tony hated recuperation, rest and rehabilitation – the '3 R's' as Ducky referred to them as.

'You're gonna be fine, Tony,' Gibbs reassured him. 'Someone'll stay with you, or you can stay with me. You won't do this alone, I promise.'

Tony felt his eyes well up at Gibbs' words – so different from the ones he had heard when he'd fallen from his bike as a young boy. His father had never given a damn about how he was going to heal – only about the state of the bike. And Gibbs' promises, unlike his father's, were rock solid.

'You in pain?' asked Gibbs, seeing Tony's distress. 'Want me to call the doc?'

Tony managed to utter a strangled 'no' and gripped Gibbs' hand as hard as he could, closing his eyes at the same time. Gibbs returned his free hand to Tony's head and gently tousled the younger man's hair. The action had a soothing effect. Tony's face relaxed and his breathing slowed.

'I wish.. I wish…' Tony murmured dreamily before succumbing to sleep once again. Gibbs carefully let go of Tony's hand and lent back in the chair, his eyes not leaving his agent's face. He felt much more settled now that Tony had woken, albeit briefly, with his faculties intact. He would stay, however, for a number of reasons: to scare off anyone sent to question Tony before he was ready, to make sure the doctors were doing their job, and to be there for Tony when the memories of Quantico inevitably returned.

Gibbs sighed, and then the corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he pondered what Dinozzo wished for. The smiling and suave Dinozzo of the bullpen, with mask fully in place, would surely have a wish list designed to make McGee blush and Ziva slap him across the face. As for the insecure Tony that Gibbs saw lurking, his wishes were likely to be far less superficial but more difficult to grant – at least in the young man's mind.

His own wishes, the ex-marine reflected, were much more straight-forward. He wished psychopaths like Sharlon would drop dead before they killed anyone, and that Dinozzo's recovery (mental and physical) would be quick.

Looking over at Tony he saw his eyes flickering beneath his eyelids; obviously dreaming. Gibbs shut his own eyes and allowed himself a little rest. Tony, meanwhile, dreamt of a blissful childhood spent riding a bike alongside Gibbs.


	9. Chapter 9

Moments and Fragments

_This was written to accompany the end scene of 'Agent Afloat', an episode I liked much more the second time I saw it. Zan._

It was, thought Tony, how he imagined coming back home from somewhere – war, prison, overseas posting maybe- after an extended period of time might feel. He had never gone back home to live with his biological family, and he would never, ever expect to be welcomed with opened arms if he did. But sitting on his desk with Abby's arm wrapped securely around him, and surrounded by the eager faces of his team, Tony felt very much like he had returned home.

McGee was behaving like the younger brother, eager to hear tales of adventure and jokes – and even some harmless jibes if they were directed his way. Ziva, like the mysterious girl next door, hovered near the desk, sending him shy smiles. She could not conceal how delighted she was. Abby, gorgeous creature that she was, had nearly bowled him over like the adoring sister Tony had never had. She was the one who amazed Tony. She knew just about all of his faults and weaknesses. She knew him better than anyone else did – but loved him anyway. Her emails and her faith had kept him sane while he was on that ship. How would he ever be able to properly repay her?

There was an excited buzz all around him. It seemed they had all genuinely missed him.

He had ached for them from the moment Vance had sent him away.

And then, just as he thought the moment could not be more perfect, the man appeared whose opinion mattered more to him than anyone else's on the planet. Like a patriarch, Gibbs stood before him, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned.

Tony had decided that Vance had sent him away to punish him for allowing Jenny to die, but he had clung to the hope that Gibbs would not only forgive him but persuade Vance to let him come back to the team.

And now here they were, face to face amidst the excited chatter in the bullpen. He saw no blame in Gibbs' eyes – just slight amusement and something that Tony hoped was relief.

Whatever it was, Gibbs was clearly satisfied with how things had turned out.

After what seemed like a long time, Gibbs extended his hand in a warm gesture of welcome, and Tony eagerly grasped it.

The prodigal son had returned.

He was finally home.


	10. Chapter 10

Moments & Fragments

_This was prompted by Kill Ari Part one. Three different perspectives._

It was mercifully dark by the time they had finished on the rooftop. McGee was truly thankful for that. When there had still been daylight - murky as it was, given the rain - his insides had twisted each time he'd seen Tony's face. Bad enough that the senior agent was not joking around or making politically incorrect remarks, when Tony _had_ made a comment or an observation, his voice was whispery and strained. What had disturbed Tim the most was the anguish evident in Tony's eyes. McGee could not and did not want to imagine what it must have been like for Tony and Gibbs to see their colleague – their _friend_ – shot down in front of their eyes. By the time McGee had arrived on the roof, Tony was scouring the area and Gibbs was crouched and on guard.

Not long after Kate's body had been removed and McGee and Tony had been left to find evidence, the rain had begun. It had started with a few drops but then had become a steady, soaking downpour. It had diluted and washed away the pool of blood. It had streamed down their faces and soaked into their clothes. It had plastered Tony's expertly styled hair to his forehead, making him appear younger and more vulnerable than McGee wanted to see him. It did not stop raining the whole time they searched and it was still raining.

'Let's get these to Gibbs,' Tony said, in that awful, whispery tone as he sealed the evidence bag that contained the bullet casings. The casings of the bullets that were fired at Kate. The casing of the bullet that had killed Kate.

McGee nodded and broke into a trot to keep up with Tony's long strides.

Gibbs looked up from his desk as McGee and Dinozzo came in. In his devastation over Kate, he had forgotten that the two men were still out there. For that, he mentally head-slapped himself. First, one of his agents had been killed before his very eyes. Now it seemed he had lost touch with what he had ordered the rest of his team to do.

As McGee stumbled and apologized his way through an explanation of what they had found, Gibbs' attention wavered between the bullet casings and his senior field agent. Gibbs had never been more proud of, or more concerned about, Tony's conduct. Tony had not fallen to his knees in despair as they realized the awful truth that Kate was dead. Instead, Tony had looked at Kate in dismay and then to Gibbs for guidance. He had then accepted Gibbs' orders and acted upon them, Kate's blood spatter still on his stricken face. Now, as McGee babbled on, Tony stood by silently. White. Cold. Soaking wet. Far too recently Tony had been fighting for his life in a hospital bed. Gibbs didn't think he could go through seeing Tony like that again. Especially not now. At the men's comment that they were going back out, Gibbs shook his head and told them to get some dry clothes. If it were possible, McGee looked deeper in shock than he had moments before.

Dinozzo

Tony stood outside Abby's lab with the evidence bags in his hands. He had changed his clothes. An order from Gibbs was an order from Gibbs. But he still felt cold. It was as though icy tendrils had worked their way inside him and were encircling his very core. He did not expect any warmth to be returning any time soon. And maybe that was a good thing. Cold meant numb. Numb meant not feeling. Not feeling was good. He entered the lab. He could do this. Piece of cake.

He was impressed that Abby held it together for as long as she did. And when he eventually held her and comforted her by just being there, he felt himself thaw…. just a little. Not enough that he was going to be reduced to a blithering mess. After all, a Dinozzo didn't cry, pass out or become a blithering mess. But with Abby's arms flung around his neck, her heart beating against his and his face buried in her hair, Tony felt the sharpest edges melt and soften. In time, he would be okay. They would all be okay. But they would never be the same.


	11. Chapter 11

Moments and Fragments 11

Tony didn't want to disturb Gibbs. In fact he had even contemplated leaving his Boss's house and driving himself home, but the pain in his mid-section had become so intense that he doubted his own ability to get into the car, let alone drive. Now, as he hovered in the doorway of Gibbs' bedroom, clutching his middle with one hand and bracing himself against the doorframe with the other, he wondered if collapsing and waking Gibbs that way was better than asking for help.

As Tony moved forwards, his body refused to co-operate totally. He found himself on his knees. He crawled to the bed and shook the blanket edge with a trembling hand.

'Boss,' he managed to croak.

Gibbs was woken by a movement and a noise. Instantly on alert, he sat bolt upright and swung his legs over the bed edge, nearly kicking his number one filed agent in the side of the head.

'What the hell?' he barked before noticing that something was definitely very wrong with Tony. Even in the half light he could see how ashen Tony's face was and the way that the younger man was hunched over.

'Sorry Boss,' came Dinozzo's rote response. He knew this had been a bad idea.

'Stop apologizing,' grumbled Gibbs as he sprung out of bed. 'What's hurting?' he asked directly.

'Stomach. Side,' rasped Tony through gritted teeth. 'It's bad.'

Gibbs placed one arm across Tony's shoulders and gripped his elbow.

'Let's get you off the floor,' he said, gruffly, masking his concern. He had never known Tony to complain about pain before. Once Tony was on the bed, he immediately curled into a fetal position, his arms folded across his mid-section. Gibbs was alarmed to see tears of pain streaming from beneath his agent's tightly closed eyelids. The ex-marine picked up his cell and rang 911 as he gripped Tony's shoulder.

'I need an ambulance at this address!' he barked into the phone.

'What's the problem, Sir?' asked the operator.

'He's in his early thirties. Severe abdominal pain. Just send an ambulance, dammit!' growled Gibbs.

'Dispatching now, Sir. Try to keep the patient calm and safe.'

Gibbs ended the call and immediately pressed speed dial.

'Ducky. I need you at my place. Now. I know it's late. It's Dinozzo. Yeah, Ambulance is coming, but I want you to check him out. Thanks, Duck.'

Gibbs gave Tony's shoulder one more squeeze before pulling pants and a sweater over his shorts, all the while keeping a watchful eye on Tony's face. He was really concerned now. Tony had not objected to the ambulance or Ducky. Dressed, Gibbs knelt beside Tony on the bed and placed his mouth close to the younger man's ear. Tony still held his eyes tightly shut and his body was trembling.

'Hang in there, Tony,' he told him. 'Help's coming.'

Tony could hear the sound of a voice but it seemed to be coming from far away, over the noise of his heart pumping and the rush of his blood in his ears. He felt a hand stroke his forehead and again heard the murmur of the distant voice. As another wave of pain hit, he tried to focus only on the soothing hand and the reassuring murmur.

Ducky let himself in and called out to Gibbs.

'In here!' shouted Gibbs from the bedroom. Ducky hurried to the main bedroom at the sound of the anxious reply. Gibbs seldom sounded stressed. He found Gibbs half kneeling/half laying next to Tony who was obviously in a lot of discomfort.

'My dear boy!' exclaimed Ducky softly as he approached the bed. 'What happened?' he asked Gibbs.

'I was asleep. Next thing I knew, Tony was on the floor trying to wake me,' Gibbs explained, still stroking Tony's forehead. 'He couldn't say much – just that his gut and side hurt and that it was bad.' As Tony suddenly clutched more desperately around himself as another wave of pain assaulted him, Gibbs channeled his worry into anger.

'Where's that f***ing ambulance?!' he growled.

At his change in tone, Tony began to moan in distress. Ducky knew he needed to take charge.

'Jethro, ring again,' he suggested. 'But keep your voice calm. Tony's only semi-conscious. He's just sensing your mood without understanding what's leading to it.'

Ducky was just starting to take Tony's vitals when the paramedics arrived. Gibbs threw down his cell and scowled at them for daring to let his senior field agent suffer unnecessarily.

'Rapid pulse. Clammy. Shallow breathing,' Ducky informed them. 'Severe abdominal pain radiating from or to his left side,' he continued.

'Cause?' asked one paramedic as he ran his eye over Tony.

'Unknown,' replied Ducky.

The paramedic turned to address Gibbs directly.

'Does your son take drugs?' he asked.

'He doesn't take drugs,' Gibbs told him with confidence, ignoring the assumption the man had made. There was no time for unnecessary explanations.

The paramedic rested a hand on Tony's shoulder.

'Sir, can you tell us what you're feeling?' he asked calmly.

Tony heard the gist of the question through his misery.

'Like…like crap,' he whispered, hoarsely.

'We need to examine you,' the paramedic continued. 'We're going to roll you onto your back.'

With Ducky and Gibbs helping, Tony managed to lay on his back, his arms still held protectively across his stomach.

As the paramedic lifted his t-shirt, the small movement caused Tony to hiss with pain.

'Try to breathe, Tony,' Ducky told him gently. Gibbs continued the rhythmic stroking of Tony's forehead.

'Some local swelling,' said the paramedic as he conducted his examination. 'Could be appendicitis. We need to get him to the hospital for ultrasound.'

As the stretcher was being assembled, Ducky gently pulled Tony's t-shirt back down over his abdomen. Tony opened his eyes a crack and looked fearfully at Gibbs.

'Tony, you HAVE to go,' Gibbs told him. At that moment, a fresh wave of pain seized Tony, causing him to curl sideways again.

'Ahhh!' he groaned, unable to stay silent. This hurried the paramedics who efficiently lifted him onto the stretcher and out of the building, Gibbs keeping physical contact the whole way. As Tony was loaded into the ambulance, the paramedic motioned for Gibbs to get in too.

'We'll probably need to ask you some questions about your son, especially if he loses consciousness completely,' he explained. Gibbs nodded and entered the ambulance, sitting on the opposite side to the gurney.

'Better if you sit with him.' said the paramedic as he lifted the com to radio in the details. 'It would be a help if you remove his watch, any jewellery and any other personal items. He'll feel more comfortable knowing that a family member is looking after them.'

Gibbs had a brief moment of panic before reminding himself that he was probably the closest thing that Dinozzo had to a father. Hell, Dinozzo Senior hadn't even shown up when his son had the plague!

Taking a position beside Tony as the ambulance traveled towards the hospital, siren blaring, Gibbs placed his hand over Tony's.

'Just taking off your watch,' he told Tony, quietly. 'I promise I won't let McGee wear it.'

Tony barely grunted a reply, absorbed in fighting the pain. Gibbs removed the stylish watch and slipped it into his pocket. A quick glance confirmed what he already knew: Tony wore no bracelet, chain or rings. Gibbs took the metallic blanket the paramedic passed to him and covered Tony with it. He was unsure of whether Tony was conscious or not. The younger man's mouth was set in a tight, thin line of pain and his eyebrows were low.

'Tony,' he whispered.

'Umm?' was the reply.

'Just seeing if you're still with us.' said Gibbs, relieved.

'What and when did he last eat?' asked the paramedic, pen poised over the chart.

'Pizza. About 2200 hours,' said Gibbs. 'Salami, hot peppers, extra cheese.'

'You have some too?' he questioned.

'Yep,' said Gibbs, smiling faintly at the memory of Tony telling him the pizza was the food of the Gods.

'And you're sure he doesn't do drugs,' added the paramedic.

'Look,' said Gibbs. 'Tony has some issues like everyone does from time to time, but he's clean. I guarantee it, 100%.'

The man made a note and then started another line of questioning.

'What about family history of appendicitis, kidney stones, gallstones?' he asked.

Gibbs was stumped. How would he know? Tony rarely talked about his family, and all Gibbs pretty much knew was that Tony's mother drank herself to death and that his father was a heartless bastard who disowned his only child at the age of twelve. About to admit that he wasn't related to Tony at all, Gibbs was stopped by a sound from Tony.

'No. No history,' he whispered.

'How's the pain?' asked the paramedic as Gibbs processed the fact that Tony had been listening all along.

'Still there,' grunted Tony.

'Any worse?'

Tony shook his head slightly.

'Any better?'

Again there was slight shake of Tony's head.

'Okay. We've arrived at the hospital,' said the paramedic. 'I'll leave you with your dad while I get your details lodged.'

With that, he left the ambulance, leaving Tony and Gibbs alone together. As concerned as he was about Tony's health, Gibbs also felt awkward. Even though it had begun with a misunderstanding, he had no right to carry on with the charade that he was his agent's father without Tony's permission.

Tony opened his eyes to see Gibbs hovering and looking very unsure of himself.

'How are you holding up?' asked Gibbs, tentatively.

'Scared,' Tony admitted, his eyes glistening. Gibbs was a little shocked by the admission and gripped Tony's shoulder.

'You'll be fine,' he told him, hoping he was exuding more confidence than he felt. 'They know what they're doing. I'll make sure Ducky keeps them on their toes.'

'Okay, we're ready for you. We're gonna take you straight into pre-op,' said the paramedic as he returned. Gibbs gave Tony's shoulder a last squeeze before getting out of the way.

'Wait,' Tony managed to call out, his voice hoarse. The paramedics paused as Gibbs came back to the gurney.

'Thanks for looking after me, Dad,' whispered Tony, his eyes shining and a slight smile gracing his lips.

Gibbs could only nod in response. He watched and waited until Tony had been whisked through the doors, into the hospital. He was grateful that he had some time to compose himself before Ducky arrived.


	12. Chapter 12

**Moment & Fragment 12**

_Takes place after Tony has returned to NCIS after his stint as Agent Afloat._

Tony sat on the edge of the desk and drank in the sights and sounds of the bullpen. The chatter was more lively than usual – that was understandable given the circumstances. And everyone was gathered around him – that was so welcome after the time he'd spent among strangers. Ducky's dulcet tones, Ziva's deep laugh, McGee's quiet contributions, and Abby's gleeful squeals. He would never allow himself to take any of it for granted again.

He smiled at McGee's attempts to explain the meaning of one of Abby's more colorful idioms to Ziva. Tony had missed that and many other simple, daily interactions much more than he'd missed his apartment or DVD collection. He had experienced that epiphany only one day into his time on the ship.

As Ducky launched into a full explanation of the aforementioned idiom's historical significance, Tony's felt eyes upon him. He turned his head slightly to meet Abby's gaze. She was beaming contentedly. He could not help but reflect her smile. Six hours ago he had been walking off the helipad, laden with gear and wandering whether he was actually returning for good or just visiting. To his astonishment and delight, Tony looked up to see Abby coming towards him – arms outstretched, pigtails flying and running as fast as her boots would allow her. Seconds after he had put his bags down, she had flung herself into his arms and began squeezing him with all of her might.

'Ab's', was all that he had been able to manage.

'Oh my God! Tony!' she had exclaimed into his shoulder. 'I missed you! We ALL missed you! Oh my God.! You're back!'

She had drawn back for a moment to plant a bruising kiss on his cheek before resuming her fierce embrace. Tony had been grateful for his dark sunglasses. Abby had not seen the full effect of her greeting. Never in his life had Tony received such a welcome. Never had he felt such relief coupled with anxiety about returning somewhere. This woman had kept him sane while he was away. She had given him hope with her emails and her postcards and the protestations of her faith in him and of her faith in Gibbs to get Tony back to them. Abby had been unwavering, even when he had had major doubts in himself and his boss. And now, here he was. It had been overwhelming.

The arrival of Gibbs in the bullpen broke the mutual gaze between the senior agent and the forensic scientist. Tony turned to Gibbs and tried to read how the man felt about having him back on the team. As the other voices fell silent, Gibbs regarded Tony without expression for a few moments before extending a hand towards him. Tony warmly shook the hand of his mentor and allowed himself to be pulled into a brief but firm embrace. Over Gibbs' shoulder, Tony again locked eyes with Abby who was clapping her hands silently and excitedly. Her faith had been restored. And so had his.


	13. Chapter 13

**Moments & Fragments**

**Chapter 13**

'_**You…will… not… die.'**_Gibbs to Tony, SWAK

Vance descended the stairs and made his way to Gibbs' desk. His peripheral vision took in the interested gaze of Gibbs' team.

'Mendoza is here,' announced the NCIS director.

Tony's ears pricked up at the mention of the criminal's name. Tony had done the legwork and put together the evidence that had led to the warrant for Mendoza's apprehension for questioning. He was a person of interest in half a dozen serious, drug-related crimes against marines and their families. Mendoza had fled the country two months ago. He had obviously been located. Tony licked his lips at the idea of the man being brought to justice.

'How long do we have him?' asked Gibbs, his face giving nothing away. He resisted the private urge to march into interrogation and strangle Mendoza with his bare hands. Tony's evidence indicated that the drug dealer had shot dead the son of a marine Gibbs had served with. Gibbs had promised the bereaved father that justice would be done.

'Twenty four hours,' replied Vance. 'It won't be YOU doing the interview, Agent Gibbs. You're too personally involved.'

Ziva noted the way Gibbs' jaw hardened at the director's words. She glanced across at McGee who was also watching and listening intently. Tony was also listening, but he was organizing case notes at the same time.

'I wasn't planning on doing the interview,' said Gibbs, his tone even and his eyes murderous. 'Dinozzo..'

'Yes Boss,' said Tony, standing up with an armful of paperwork. 'Who do you want to send in with me?'

'Dinozzo, give Director Vance your case files. He'll be interviewing Mendoza.'

McGee and Ziva looked at Tony in time to see the senior field agent's jaw literally drop. They could scarcely believe what Gibbs had said. Tony knew the case better than all of them, and he had done the majority of the grunt work. More importantly, Tony desperately wanted to get a conviction for Gibbs so that his fellow gunny could get some closure.

'But Boss..' Tony began to protest.

'Give Director Vance the files,' repeated Gibbs more sternly. 'He needs time to get up to speed. I don't want this Mandoza bastard walking out of here a free man. Do you?'

Tony felt the sharp twist of disappointment in his gut. Gibbs didn't trust him to nail Mendoza. Feeling the team's eyes upon him, Tony walked out from behind his desk and held the precious files out for Vance to take. Once they were in the director's hands, he turned on his heel and stalked off and into the elevator.

'I'll let you know when I'm ready to start,' Vance told Gibbs as he took a preliminary glance at the paperwork.

'You'd better make it stick, Leon,' said Gibbs. McGee silently gulped at the tone of Gibbs' voice and the use of the director's Christian name. Ziva noted the way Gibbs' knuckles were white. Saying nothing else, Vance returned to his office, leaving behind him a tense silence. Gibbs appeared to be staring at nothing. Eventually, Ziva could not bear it any longer.

'Gibbs, why is _Vance_ interrogating Mendoza?' she demanded. 'Tony has been obsessed about this case. He knows it. He knows everything there is to know about Mendoza. I don't understand.'

'Are you finished, Agent David?' Gibbs asked the ex Mossad officer.

'Are you going to tell me why the best person to do this interrogation is not doing it?' persisted Ziva. McGee gulped silently again. This was _**so**_ not going to end well. Even though McGee felt that a mistake had been made, you just didn't challenge Gibbs unless you had a personal death wish.

'**He** can tell you later if he wants to,' came Gibbs' unexpected reply as he stood up and walked off to the elevator leaving two very puzzled agents behind him.

…………………………………………..

If he had thought that the pacing would help, he had been mistaken. But it was marginally better than staying in the bullpen and facing the team; facing Gibbs. The view from the NCIS roof was spectacular, but Tony couldn't see it. What had he done wrong? What was wrong with his interrogation style? Why wasn't he good enough for this case – this case that meant so much to Gibbs? Was it because it was so personally important to Gibbs? Was he worried that Tony would stuff it up? The questions were going around and around in his head. Finally, Tony plonked himself down on one of the bench seats and stared out at nothing in particular. He was bewildered. He was disappointed. He was angry too, but most of all he felt something that gnawed at his core: rejection. Gibbs had no faith in him. Well, fine. He'd get some other job. Tony didn't think he could pretend to not care about this. It was too much.

Tony turned at a sound behind him and stood in response to Gibbs' presence on the roof. As usual, the older man's expression was unreadable and infuriating.

'Come to give me a list of all the errors of judgement I've made?' demanded Tony. 'Cause I'm listening. I mean, I probably know them all, but maybe there are some I'm not aware of. I guess I should be grateful that you didn't put Ziva or McGee in that interrogation room instead of me. Now that would have been hard to live down. Not that I plan to stay around here much longer if you have no faith in me. I mean I AM supposed to be your senior field agent, aren't I?'

'Tony,' began Gibbs, but he was cut off as Tony's anger came to the fore.

'Did Vance go over your head?' he demanded. 'I know I'm not exactly the flavor of the month with him, but what does _**he**_ know about Mendoza? I'm the best person to nail him!'

'Yes you are,' said Gibbs.

'Then why the hell is Vance in there right now with that bastard instead of me?' yelled Tony.

Gibbs stepped forward. For a moment, Tony thought Gibbs was going to deliver a headslap, which really would have been the last straw because Tony readied his fists to strike back. Instead, Gibbs gently gripped Tony's shoulders and looked him square in the face.

'**You** are not in that interview room, Dinozzo, because you have not had a full course of inoculations against swine flu.'

Tony's face took on such a peculiar expression that under other circumstances would have made Gibbs smile with amusement.

'What?' was all Tony could utter.

'Mendoza has been hiding out in Mexico,' explained Gibbs, keeping his grip on Tony. 'He's had a positive swab for swine flu and he's still contagious.'

'But what about Vance?' spluttered Tony. 'He's got kids. He could get it just as easily as I could.'

'Vance has had the flu shots recently,' continued Gibbs. 'His family is away for two weeks. He'll stay isolated as an added precaution.'

'But _I _could have done that too,' protested Tony, his anger diminishing slightly, but his bewilderment rising.

'Dinozzo,' said Gibbs, tightening his grip. '_You _cannot risk getting this virus. Ducky told me.'

Tony swallowed as realization dawned on him. As much as he hated to be reminded of it, his near fatal brush with the plague had left him particularly vulnerable to respitory illnesses. Gibbs hadn't lost faith in him. He was trying to protect him. It was few moments before he could find his voice.

'Boss, Vance might not crack Mendoza. He might walk. What about your promise to the dead boy's father?'

Gibbs gave Tony's shoulders a final squeeze before putting his hands in his pockets.

'Made a promise to you a long time ago, Dinozzo,' he said gruffly. 'Vance will get a result. If he doesn't, he'll have me to answer to.'

Gibbs began walking back to the stairs. As he reached the door, he called to Tony who hadn't moved.

'You're not being paid to get fresh air, Dinozzo!' he barked. 'Get your ass into Vance's office. You may not be the flavor of the month, but he'll need you to make sense of that scribble you call handwriting!'

With a grin that split his face, Tony hurried to follow Gibbs inside. Faith restored.


	14. Chapter 14

Moments & Fragments

_Set towards the end of the finale of Season 6. Man, how heavy would the tension have been between Tony, Gibbs and Vance during the flight home!!! Hope you like it. Zan_

Aftermath

As Gibbs settles into his position and straps himself in, he can feel two pairs of eyes upon him. He hopes that neither men will say anything or ask a question.

'One short?' asks Dinozzo. _Damn_ thinks Gibbs, unable to answer his number one field agent.

As he plane takes off, Gibbs shuts his eyes. A myriad of emotions swirls around within him. He is devastated by the idea that one of his team is gone. Hurt by the idea that she had possibly betrayed him and the team. Intentional or not, if she had betrayed the team, the body count could well have been higher and more personal. What if Rivkin had not been drunk that night? Any number of 'scrappy' techniques would not have saved Dinozzo.

Gibbs opens his eyes, suddenly needing to see physical evidence that the younger agent is still alive. Tony is sitting across from him, but Gibbs can tell that he's a million miles away. He's worked with Tony long enough to know that he's playing events over and over and over in his mind, and feeling guilty, and feeling that he's let Ziva down, and feeling that he's let Gibbs down.

Gibbs wants to tell Tony that he shouldn't be blaming himself, but Gibbs knows that _**he**_ would if he was in Tony's position. He wants to tell him that, okay, he broke protocol, but so would Gibbs have.

He wants to tell Tony that while he is majorly pissed off, and devastated and hurt, it isn't because Tony is in the plane while Ziva still stands on the tarmac at Tel Aviv. But he doesn't want to tell him those things in front of Director Vance. Gibbs wants for Vance to have a lasting image of Dinozzo in the interrogation room, putting one over the head of Mossad. He doesn't want Vance to witness the Dinozzo who is plagued by self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. He knows what Vance usually sees when he looks at Dinozzo: a flawed, womanizing ex-cop who is more loyal to Gibbs than he is to NCIS. Gibbs doesn't want Vance to add low self-esteem to that perception.

Gibbs looks at Vance. The man is looking at a magazine, but Gibbs doubts he is actually reading any words. Is he plotting his next move? Is he planning his next cosy chat with Ziva's father? Is he thinking about who he wants to add to Gibbs' team? Does he already have someone in mind to replace Ziva with? Gibbs has no trust in Vance. He can't quite put his finger on the reason why, but the man makes him uneasy. It occurs to Gibbs that working under an ex-partner had nothing on working for an unfathomable man like Vance.

Looking back to Tony, Gibbs can see that he has closed his eyes, feigning sleep. Gibbs is satisfied with this. It means that Tony doesn't feel like having a conversation with Gibbs witnessed by Vance any more than Gibbs does. Once again, he and Dinozzo are on the same page. The inevitable conversation will have to wait.

……………………………………..

It isn't until the trio reaches NCIS that Gibbs and Tony can speak without an audience. They choose to ride the elevator up to the team's floor while Vance has some business to attend to in another department. Predictably, Gibbs punches the emergency stop button when they are between floors.

Tony stands, his hands in his pockets, with a stoic look on his tired face. He chooses not to make eye contact with Gibbs although he is evidently expecting him to say something. A chewing out is the least he probably expects.

Gibbs sighs before speaking.

'You know I don't make speeches,' Gibbs begins. 'And I'm only gonna say this once. I don't know what you're assuming, but Ziva didn't ask to stay in Israel, her father didn't insist she stay there, and Vance didn't excommunicate her.'

Tony _**does **_look his boss in the eye then, and Gibbs knows from the expression on the field agent's face that he _**is**_ surprised.

'She asked me to choose who stayed on my team: you or her,' continues Gibbs. He pauses while the words sink in. This is clearly not what Tony had expected to hear.

'You spend enough time making your decision?' asks Tony.

'Damn it, Dinozzo! I didn't have to spend a_** second**_ thinking about it!' exclaims Gibbs. '_**You**_ are my Number One Senior Field Agent. You_** always**_ have my six. _**Your**_ loyalty has been proven over and over.'

'When I went under cover to meet Jeanne…' begis Tony.

'You were under orders,' finishes Gibbs. 'Orders you should never have been given.'

The two men stand together in the elevator for a while without either one speaking. The gravity of what has happened in Israel weighs heavily on them both. Neither McGee, Abby or Ducky know what has happened yet. There was going to be more fallout. This was by no means over, but they at least know where they stand with each other.

'What now?' asks Tony, his voice quiet and uncertain. The last time they had lost one of the team had been more cut and dried: pursuit of a killer and a funeral. Now, the way ahead is not as clear.

Gibbs moves to stand right in front of Tony and into his personal space.

'You keep your head up,' Gibbs tells him. 'Don't give Vance any reason to split this team again.'

'I won't make you regret your decision, Boss,' says Tony, his voice thick.

'I know and I won't,' says Gibbs before returning to stand where he was before.

'You ready?' he asks Tony as he holds his hand to the button that will continue the elevator on its journey.

'As I'll ever be,' replies Tony, straightening his tie.


	15. Chapter 15

Moments and Fragments

_This is a post-ep to 'Chained'. The episode is an oldie but a goodie. I really liked Kate's character, but there were times that she got on my nerves. Hope you enjoy! Zan_

'Truly, Tony,' says Kate from the front passenger seat. 'You might find this hard to believe, but I _**was**_ worried about you.'

Gibbs continues driving away from the crime scene – away from the place where Tony shot Jeffrey White dead before the killer could killer again.

Gibbs listens to Kate chat away. She asks Tony if he is alright. Gibbs wishes Kate would shut up. He can see Tony in the rear-vision mirror. He can tell that he hasn't come down. Not yet. Tony finally answers Kate, but with a smart-arse comment, and so she gets stuck into him about calling the imaginary mangy dog 'Kate'. Eventually Gibbs tells the both of them to shut the hell up.

Back at NCIS, Gibbs, Kate and Tony walk into the bullpen. Tony is still wearing the clothes he wore undercover. His face is uncharacteristically unshaven. His eyes are still wild. He looks decidedly unlike Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo. McGee falls over himself telling Tony he's glad he's back. There's no way McGee would understand what Tony's just been through. Gibbs intervenes before it gets ugly. After all, Gibbs always acts to protect his team.

Gibbs decides that his forensic scientist must be psychic because the elevator suddenly expels Abby and she rushes up to hug Tony. Tony says her name but stands rigidly as she embraces him. Gibbs pointedly tells her to go back to the lab because Tony has to write his report while it is fresh in his mind. Biting her lip worriedly, Abby mercifully complies without argument.

Tony sits down to write his report. Gibbs watches him from the opposite wall. From time to time, Tony glances sideways, obviously still on edge. Kate joins Gibbs.

'It's amazing,' she whispers to Gibbs, excitedly. 'It's like he's still the guy he's been pretending to be. Like a criminal on the run.'

Gibbs breaks his gaze away from Tony for a moment to fix her with a hard stare. What_** he**_ finds amazing is that Kate is fascinated by, rather than concerned for, her partner. It strikes Gibbs that Kate is pretty cold. Maybe that's how she copes, he muses. Tony isn't like that. He invests himself emotionally. It strikes Gibbs that there's irony every time Kate accuses Tony of being uncaring.

Kate recoils a little from Gibbs' stare and returns to her desk to complete her own report.

Tony stands up and hands his handwritten report to Gibbs. Gibbs takes it and quietly tells him to get down to Ducky.

'After that,' says Gibbs, 'you can change and shave. Tell Ducky I'll be there soon.'

'You might want to keep the facial hair,' says Kate from her desk. 'Some women like men with beards. Maybe you can add to your list of conquests.'

Tony leaves without saying anything, leaving Kate to look questioningly at Gibbs. Ordinarily, such a comment from Kate would draw a smutty comeback from Tony. Gibbs decides it's not worth even trying to explain to Kate what it's like to totally immerse yourself in an undercover assignment. You lose something of yourself doing it. For a profiler, Kate was surprisingly clueless.

'Why send him down to Ducky?' Kate asks him. Gibbs doesn't feel like telling her that on Tony's report there were tiny, fresh droplets of blood.

'Focus on your report,' he tells her instead.

Gibb goes down to Autopsy to check on Tony. Before they see him, Gibbs overhears Tony talking quietly about an old movie Ducky was obviously familiar with as well. Ducky is applying some cream to a shallow cut on one side of Tony's jawline. Gibbs notices that Tony's body language is still unnaturally alert for him given this was NCIS. He is obviously still tense, but his voice is quieter and less edgy than it had been in the car and in the squad room.

Gibbs makes his presence known, just as Ducky is finishing his ministrations with the application of a bandage strip.

'Good as new!' announces Ducky to Tony, his eyes signaling an entirely different message to Gibbs.

'Okay, Dinozzo,' says Gibbs, evenly. 'Come with me.'

'I'm not going home,' protests Tony, involuntarily glancing over his shoulder. 'I'm fine.'

'Who said you're going home?' says Gibbs, gruffly. Gibbs knows that going home is the last thing his senior field agent needs right now.

Sliding off the table, Tony obediently follows Gibbs out of Autopsy and towards the gym change rooms.

'Spare clothes are in your locker,' Gibbs tells him, leaving out the bit that they're the same clothes Tony changed out of the day he came in early to don his disguise. He produces a small electric shaver from his jacket pocket and rests it beside the sink.

'I'll be back in fifteen,' he tells Tony who is standing in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection as if he is seeing himself for the very first time.

'Dinozzo!' snaps Gibbs, breaking the spell.

'Yeah?'

'Get that bandaging wet and you'll be going straight back to Ducky.'

'Gotcha, Boss,' Tony responds as he starts to remove his jacket.

Satisfied for the time being, Gibbs leaves.

Gibbs returns to the squad room and ignores the quizzical looks he receives from McGee and Kate. He sits at his desk and begins his own report, but not before noting the time. He had told Tony 'fifteen minutes' and it is important that he keeps his promise. Gibbs admits to himself that he had been really worried about Dinozzo over the past twenty four hours. He did not, and would not ever, admit his worry to Kate because that might imply that Gibbs has no faith in Tony's ability to look after himself on a case. Besides, Gibbs doesn't want Kate to know that the blood had drained from Gibbs' face the moment he and Kate thought they had discovered Tony's dead body. Gibbs feels an involuntary shudder run through him as he remembers that moment. The depth of his feelings for Tony, as inexplicable as they are to Gibbs sometimes, is none of Kate's damn business.

The ten minutes is up and Gibbs returns to the change room to rejoin Tony. He finds him sitting on the bench in clean clothes. Tony's face is freshly shaven and this makes him look much younger than he did fifteen minutes ago, unlike his bloodshot eyes which look like they belong to a much older man.

Gibbs knows better than to ask him if he's okay or if he feels better.

'Come on. We're gonna get something to eat,' he tells Tony.

Together, the pair walks to a burger joint and get takeaway. Gibbs knows it's important to get takeaway so that they can eat and walk. They walk side by side along the busy streets, amongst normality. Gibbs knows that Tony is physically exhausted, but he also knows, from bitter experience, that he needs the normality of this walk – to be among normal people and everyday activities.

Tony starts talking eventually, waving his barely nibbled-at burger in the air as he speaks. He tells Gibbs about the guy that he assumes Jeffrey killed at the cabin, and how Tony initially thought that _**he**_ was the one to be wary of. He tells Gibbs about Jeffrey's plans and the story Tony spun him. He talks about the moment he realized that the transmitter had probably been ruined by the water. Gibbs just nods and lets him talk.

For his part, Tony feels the tension start to drain away, but doesn't understand that it was the only thing keeping him from collapsing. The moment that his energy reserves are completely spent takes him by surprise, but Gibbs is there. His boss grabs him by the arm as his knees start to buckle. Gibbs steers him to and onto a bench seat. Sitting down beside him, Gibbs takes the burger out of his hand and encourages him to bring his head towards his knees.

A casual observer hurrying by wouldn't spare the pair a second glance. People walking by would assume that Tony was a little drunk and Gibbs was a friend who could hold his drink better. No-one heard their conversation.

'I understood him.'

'You might have.'

'I didn't want to kill him.'

'I know.'

'He was messed up.'

'Yep.'

'Bad childhood.'

'Is that so.'

'I could have been him.'

'No you couldn't have.'

'I'm pretty messed up, Boss.'

'You're not a murderer, Tony.'

'I killed him.'

'You're not him, Dinozzo. You could never be. I _**know**_ who _**you**_ are.'

They sit for what seems liked a long while. Gibbs' hand has traveled from the middle of Tony's back to the nape of his agent's neck where it squeezes lightly. The Director would be wanting an overview from Gibbs, and to read his report, but Gibbs isn't going anywhere until Tony is ready. He feels Tony turn his head towards him and their eyes meet. Gibbs immediately sees that they are far less wild; far less haunted.

'Get my clue about the dog?' he asks Gibbs.

'Sure did,' replies Gibbs, returning his hand to his jacket pocket.

'Probably was a bit out of line about it being mangy and called Kate,' says Tony, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. 'Bet Kate was pissed.'

'No you weren't,' Gibbs tells him, remembering Kate's outrage at the time. 'And yes she was.'

Gibbs smiles and so does Tony. The younger man's is a slow, tired smile, but it reaches his eyes and Gibbs is satisfied. As always, they have reached a mutual understanding about what had happened without needing anyone else's interference.

'Come on,' he tells Tony, standing up. 'We've still got antiquities to find.'


	16. Chapter 16

Moments and Fragments

_Just a tiny 'moment' that snuck in between GC chapters. Zan X_

Chapter 16

He never had, and would never, just come right out and ask for anything like a little reassurance and a strong grasp of his hand at the times that he was at his lowest ebb – not from a nurse, a doctor, a teacher, a counselor, somebody on his team, or anyone.

There was this one nurse this time. She kept asking him if she could maybe make a telephone call on his behalf. But he just kept shaking his head each time she made the offer. He had neither the breath nor the inclination to explain that there was no point. He didn't want to try guilting that particular person into coming to his assistance. Besides, he had no need or desire for the kind of help that person might purchase for him out of a sense of familial obligation. He couldn't possibly be given any more assistance with his physical needs anyway. The staff at Bethesda had that all covered.

He would never ask the junior agent for help, or even suggest it with any expression. The younger man's eyes were already wide enough with shock, fear or guilt, or perhaps a combination of all three. It was clear that Probie desperately needed a joke, a jibe – some ridicule even – from the man who usually dished them out. Except that the senior field agent was having a hard enough time breathing, let alone anything else requiring precious effort. There was no way the junior agent could offer any more than brief, polite, awkward visits. And that couldn't really be held against him given the circumstances.

The partner was already dealing with her own demons. Just staying by his side, discovering she had not been afflicted and then watching his decline had already taken a lot out of her. He hated the way her eyes filled every time she saw him; the way her tears made a mockery of her attempts at humor. She couldn't give him the help he silently craved, and he would never ask for it anyway. Not now. Not like this.

The hospital chaplain had visited and offered help in the form of prayer and kind sentiments about there being a benevolent god, and had then left when the patient had feigned sleep. There had been too many times in the patient's life that he had felt himself cursed rather than blessed. Besides, it wasn't a_** metaphorical**_ grasp of his hand and encouraging whisper in his ear that he needed. Tony knew what he required, even though he would never ask for it.

And it didn't matter anyway, because, to his profound relief, Gibbs could apparently read his mind.


	17. Chapter 17

The First Time

It wasn't the first time he had been ill. It wasn't the first time he'd been admitted to a hospital. It wasn't the first time he'd cracked a whole lot of questionable jokes to disguise the terror he felt. It wasn't the first time he'd wondered at his crappy luck and what he might have done in a previous life to deserve such come-uppance in the present one.

But it _was_ the first time he'd contracted a medieval disease, and encountered a doctor with the same name as Hollywood movie star.

More significantly, it was the first time he believed that at least someone really and truly gave a damn about whether he lived or died, was prepared to stand by him, and vehemently affirmed to him that he would survive.

And that made all the difference to Tony.

…

_I know it's just a little snippet, but my muse is stirring. Post-episode fragment for 'Agent Afloat coming soon. Thanks for all those messages from people encouraging me to start posting again. You are gold! Love, Zan X._


	18. Chapter 18

COMING HOME

_I love Agent Afloat. Great episode!_

A wave of relief, that he hadn't expected, swept over Gibbs as Tony turned and grinned. It was the first time that he had seen Tony in person in four months. The younger man was tanned and looked well. The shorter hair, Gibbs noted, made him look sharper. The grin was reassuring. Tony's pleas via the MTAC screen to get him off the carrier had shaken Gibbs. Dinozzo complaining about paperwork always failed to move Gibbs, but his eyes had been desperate – at odds with the happy twinkling he saw in the same eyes right now.

…..

Tony glanced over at Ziva as she sweet-talked the local coroner and saw that she was extracting the information that they needed. Charm, he was well aware, could be as effective as brute force in a number of situations. He looked back to Gibbs who was barking orders at McGee via his cell phone. Tony was resisting, with every fibre of his being, the urge to beg Gibbs to take him home to DC. Gibbs HAD to know that being on the Seahawk was killing him but he wouldn't want to hear Tony whining about it like a three year old. Gibbs wanted to see efficiency and for him to focus on the task at hand. Tony wondered if Gibbs had spoken to Vance and whether there was any chance of the Director showing some compassion or returning a favour. But Tony wasn't going to dig for information or beg. There was surely a rule that forbade begging for anything. He decided to bask in the presence of his old team and pray that it took a long time to solve the case.

…

'I'm the squad and there's no room,' Gibbs heard Tony tell Ziva once they were in the Agent Afloat's quarters . And there was a fair degree of testiness in the man's tone. It made Gibbs even more determined to bring Tony home. While being physically confined and socially isolated might once have been Gibbs' idea of paradise when he didn't want to confront the world, he knew that it actually did a man's soul no good at all. He hated to imagine Tony cooped up in the stark room with nothing but dark thoughts to keep him company. There was true irony in loneliness aboard a ship of thousands of men..

Gibbs smiled inwardly for a moment as Ziva saw and reacted to the photographs of her that Tony had stuck to his wall, until his stomach twisted at the realization that Tony would have spent much of the last four months longing for the banter the photographs had provoked. Gibbs' eyes rested on the image of Abby in her labcoat and could almost hear her affirming that Tony WOULD be coming home and that Gibbs just had to make it happen.

…

The murderer was hand-cuffed. The familiar satisfaction of a job well done settled over Tony. It had been a team effort and it was something to celebrate, except that it also meant that Gibbs and Ziva no longer needed to be on the Seahawk. They'd be going back to the office to Abby and McGee and Ducky while he was going back to putting on a brave face and longing for postcards.

'Dinozzo, grab your gear,' was suddenly the order reaching his ears. He barely comprehended it before it finally sent him running through the ship to retrieve his belongings. He was smiling so hard his face was hurting.

The End


End file.
